Friday, 24 December 2010

The Inaugural Arsereview Awards

With just a week left of the year 2010, I thought it would be apposite to hand out a few (virtual, obviously) awards to those players who've impressed in the calendar year 2010.

The Rosicky award
The Rosicky award is named after the Czech maestro for his achievement in being out for approximately 18 months between 2008 and 2009 with a 'hamstring strain' which would take 'a few weeks' to recover from.

Needless to say, there were many competitors for the Rosicky award but this year it goes to Manuel Almunia for the worst chest infection in history. Luckily he was able to recover in time to save a penalty against West Brom though...

The Martin Taylor award for 'not being that kind of player'
Competition was tight this year and in the end the judges couldn't split Karl Henry and Ryan Shawcross. It would probably be quite a good idea to join them together more often, then they'd probably do less damage.

The should have picked a different sport award
Retained for a fourth year running by Theo Walcott. At least Rebecca Romero got the hint.

The bingo award for predicting what Wenger will say after a defeat
Goes to any Arsenal fan who has ever watched more than one Arsene Wenger post-match interview.

The Sagna award for 'good hair'
The competition for the award this year was tough. There was Marouane Chamakh's mullet, Song's blonde afro and Sagna's nameless hairstyle.

But in the end, though they only lasted a couple of weeks, Denilson's dreadlocks were the runaway winner of this award. They were so good there aren't even any pictures on Google.

The Shakespeare award for profound writing
Competition was tough this year with Theo's immense series of books as well as the wonderful and utterly uncopyable 'Ask Andrey'. But in the end, there could only be one winner: Jay Emmanuel-Thomas' Twitter stream.

The Eboué award for being Eboué
This year, the award goes to Emmanuel Eboué for reaching new heights of awesome. I'm pretty sure I don't need to say anything about the video below...

The worst attempt to woo Cesc award
Although Pepe Reina, who isn't even a Barcelona player tried to make Cesc wear a Barca shirt, Xavi wins this award hands down for his comment that "Cesc has Barca DNA". And? He also bleeds red, so there.

The 'thank f*ck he's gone' award
Considering he was always crocked for at least three months a season, and also was an extremely bad influence on the dressing room, William Gallas' departure was a great moment for the club.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to deliver the award to him but even two years on, I think the same sentiment is still true of Emmanuel Adebayor.

The Editors Choice award
Partly because he has a brilliant song which I like to sing, partly because he scored goals against Tottenham, partly because he's the Player of the Season so far, partly because he scored the best Arsenal goal of 2010, but mainly because he looks rather like yours truly, this award goes to Samir Nasri.

Watch the video below, and just clap in appreciation:

Merry Christmas, and keep the faith.

No comments: